Christ, this is difficult. Martin hadn't really imagined how difficult playing his part would be. He'd assumed if either of them cracked under the pressure of intensive roleplay, it would surely be John — not because John isn't amazing at this, but because the role itself seems more demanding. Being submissive comes so naturally to Martin, and this is all in the interest of serving his desires, so he couldn't imagine it being a true struggle to keep up.
But John has committed himself wholeheartedly, as always, and now Martin is finding himself rather more tongue-tied than he expected. Both because his ongoing state of near-arousal is distracting, and because he finds he's not actually sure what to say. He wants John to torment him through this sharp, haughty persona, but the nature of his character means he can't ask openly for what he wants, can't be demanding, can't even really be coy. He has to be far cleverer than he's used to, and it's exhilarating, but far more taxing on his mental fortitude when he ordinarily is more concerned with letting his emotional wants take center stage. Giving in and letting himself be taken care of is usually the theme, but this... this requires a lot more dexterity. He feels a bit foolish for not better anticipating that.
It's not enough to deter him, though. It's a challenge he's as eager to meet now as when they started. And more importantly, he trusts John. The game isn't a competitive one, after all; it's an elaborate cooperation. He just needs to give something John can work with in return.
He swallows thickly, feeling himself flush even hotter at the snide tone and pointed implication behind John's words.
"M-maybe there's something else I can offer," he says, his voice a little strained with embarrassment — and with the effort of tempering his own eagerness. He worries his lower lip between his teeth, then he lifts his eyes to John's, He's been about as timid as he can manage without overselling it; now, though, he thinks he wants to test the waters a bit more. Playing demure has its appeal, but the thought of staying in that space the entire time might have been a bit... unrealistic. John may detect the faintest whiff of defiance in his next words, and if he decides he likes it, so much the better. "Since my work is so lacking."
no subject
But John has committed himself wholeheartedly, as always, and now Martin is finding himself rather more tongue-tied than he expected. Both because his ongoing state of near-arousal is distracting, and because he finds he's not actually sure what to say. He wants John to torment him through this sharp, haughty persona, but the nature of his character means he can't ask openly for what he wants, can't be demanding, can't even really be coy. He has to be far cleverer than he's used to, and it's exhilarating, but far more taxing on his mental fortitude when he ordinarily is more concerned with letting his emotional wants take center stage. Giving in and letting himself be taken care of is usually the theme, but this... this requires a lot more dexterity. He feels a bit foolish for not better anticipating that.
It's not enough to deter him, though. It's a challenge he's as eager to meet now as when they started. And more importantly, he trusts John. The game isn't a competitive one, after all; it's an elaborate cooperation. He just needs to give something John can work with in return.
He swallows thickly, feeling himself flush even hotter at the snide tone and pointed implication behind John's words.
"M-maybe there's something else I can offer," he says, his voice a little strained with embarrassment — and with the effort of tempering his own eagerness. He worries his lower lip between his teeth, then he lifts his eyes to John's, He's been about as timid as he can manage without overselling it; now, though, he thinks he wants to test the waters a bit more. Playing demure has its appeal, but the thought of staying in that space the entire time might have been a bit... unrealistic. John may detect the faintest whiff of defiance in his next words, and if he decides he likes it, so much the better. "Since my work is so lacking."